Sled Dog Skippy

You know you’re being tricked when…

…old geezer dogs, who normally eat like wild boars, suddenly decide they want to eat canned dog food. Maybe one day they would like some kibble swirled in. Maybe one day they would like some bloody meat with their canned food. Maybe one day they would like me to stand on my head, recite the Declaration of Independence in full, and serve their canned dog food on a silver platter. While playing some romantic music on the violin. 

I think when one dog, Xerox, had to start eating canned food, the others caught on and saw him getting special food and went on a hunger strike for a day. This induced panic in me. Dogs can probably go a long time without food, but it is an experiment I am unwilling to try, especially with someone else’s dogs. That would be bad.  I know that I get pretty angry if I don’t eat. All the time. 

Yesterday was a prime example of being “hangry” (so hungry you are angry, as my friend Jamie describes it). I had worked all morning for a friend, outside in the pouring rain and wind, knee deep in horse poop, for 5 hours. This may not seem like a lot. However. This friend did say that I would only be needed for one hour. This was also the third time this friend had said “I only need you for an hour!” Consider me tricked. I went without food OR coffee for those 5 hours. I was a tired, wet, nasty, hangry mess when I got home. I walked in the door and demanded food.  I used the word “hangry.” Ryan helpfully offered to bake some crescent rolls. That would take 11 minutes. Too long. 3….2….1….Full out meltdown ensued.

“I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. I. NEED. TO. EAT. NOW!!!!” A bowl of coco roos (yes, coco puffs knockoffs) was shoved in front of me with a tiger-feeding pole and soy milk was poured from a safe distance through a slot in the wall.  

I was unaware that I could bellow. 

Nothing else to report here. Seriously. Unless you want a detailed update on the weather in Homer, Alaska.  21 days: rain.

3 Responses to “You know you’re being tricked when…”

  1. katie v says:

    oh skippy! this made me laugh out loud this morning…because i can just hear you saying it, and because i have so been there. when i’m like, “frank, i need some food.” and he’s like, “what do you want.” and i’m like, “no, there is no thinking in this matter, just give me some damn food.” then i feel bad, but usually i too get cereal (panda puffs as of late!). anyhoo, i miss you! oodles!

  2. Justin says:

    Once in Montana, I was afraid we’d stumbled upon a hangry skippy… luckily it was just a mother grizzly protecting her cubs… we may have never made it back otherwise.

  3. T-Rock says:

    going without food is one thing. going without coffee (or medicine as i like to call it) is a completely different! booooo!!!!!!!!!

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