Sled Dog Skippy

Sunday Short Letters

Dear Debt,

You fucking suck. I plan to end my relationship with you. Permanently. Don’t try to win me back.

Dear Little Yellow House,

We would have made a great team. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. You will make someone very happy.

Dear Peg,

I am very glad we are friends.

Dear Homemade Bagels,

We are so hawt together. Why don’t we do it more often? The baking, I mean.

Dear Universe,

Mama needs a new cheapo rental stat! Come on, show me what ya got!

Dear Right Scapula and Upper Trapezius,

What the HELL is your problem? Don’t you know that you are part of an intricate system of bones and muscles that is supposed to work as a unit?! Don’t you realize that your selfish whining and “oh, woe is me, I’m hurty” bullshit is keeping me up at night in pain and making even sitting on the couch uncomfortable? Don’t you think I have enough problems without you being all needy and annoying? Get your act together already or no more massages for you.

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