Please stop slamming your cheese-wedge-shaped head into my laptop. It’s very cute but very irritating and it makes me want to make the couch off limits to pooches.
Dear Men who work with Women,
I know there are a lot of you out there who totally respect women as equals (okay, respect us as the superior [...]
Dear 2200-gallon oil tanker truck at the airport,
Thanks for being a rickety, finicky, huge old thing. It makes me freak out less to drive you than a new(ish) turbo charged 5 speed car with a delicate clutch.
Dear propane-powered forklift at the airport,
You are pretty fun to drive– kind of like the cross between a [...]
You fucking suck. I plan to end my relationship with you. Permanently. Don’t try to win me back.
Dear Little Yellow House,
We would have made a great team. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. You will make someone very happy.
I am very glad we are friends.
Dear Homemade Bagels,
We are so hawt together. [...]
Dear Sasha the Corgi Puppy,
While you have thoroughly convinced Ryan that you are the breed of choice, I’m on to you. I spend more time with you and know how TRULY crafty and stubborn you are. You can’t deceive me with your cuteness!
Dear Work in Progress,
You are a most excellent band and I would like [...]
You are about to mix it for me again, I know this. You gave me some straight answers as soon as I started to even WONDER. I know you are listening and providing. Help a girl out again, please.
Dear Sled Dogs,
I wuv you. I miss you. I miss your craziness and kooky sounds. I [...]
Dear Friends and Family,
I miss you very much. Thank you for all the holiday cards and presents! It made me and Ryan feel very special.
Dear Doggie Job,
I am still madly madly in love with you. I don’t think the honeymoon period will ever end.
While I no longer celebrate Christmas, I realize most of [...]
Keep it coming. I need more snow to plow through on skis or snowshoes. So do the dogs. It wears them out. Which means they are content and well behaved.
Dear Nordic Skis,
I wuv you. I know you need more use to stay happy. Don’t worry. Soon my life won’t involve going to town to [...]
Thank you for keeping me safe in your care.
Dear Friends and Family,
Put your good juju out there! Ryan’s co-worker’s apartment burned down! She has young children and everyone is okay, except for their pet cat. It did not make it out. Please send healing, healthy, and loving thoughts to Homer as they [...]